Being happy at Christmas is not for granted.
Feast days are not always a synonym for happiness.
I often happen to help people who do not manage to feel happy at Christmas.
But what are the causes for such inability?
First of all, Christmas comes in the period of lowest sunlight. It is therefore physiological to produce a lower quantity of serotonin (the good mood hormone)
and melatonin (the soothing sleep hormone). If we are going through a difficult period for any reason, the winter season won’t certainly help.
Feeling happy at Christmas may also be difficult for a conventional image that we get from the mass media. Basing on what we see on TV, newspapers and photos on social networks,
at Christmas it’s compulsory to be happy, satisfied and good looking. So we can feel inadequate.
Besides, Christmas is an occasion for family reunions. And unfortunately, not all of us can be present, because of work, distance, health reasons and so on.
This may be sad. Not to mention if we’ve suffered an important loss recently, feast days may become a spotlight on the empty chair!
New Year’s Eve is another problem. We’re compelled to have a lot of fun that night and tell our friends. So we may be overwhelmed with the weight of our own expectations.
What I’m telling you here is fruit of my daily work in contact with people. In fact, in this period of the year many find themselves sad, stressed and afraid to be not enough.
A valid help comes from the Bach flower remedies. I’ll show you a few of the 38 flowers that may be useful in these cases.
Naturally, as I already explained, a mixture of Bach flowers is created ad hoc for specific needs in a certain moment.
These eight flowers are the ones I recommend more often in this period.
We can make a mix by adding 4 drops of 4-5 flowers to 25 ml of pure water and 5 ml of brandy (or simple children syrup).
Then we take 4-5 drops of this mixture directly in our mouth five times a day: first time when we wake up in the morning, last time before sleeping.
Gentian is the flower who helps in case of depression for known reasons. It helps dissolve the cold fog that sometimes wraps us, to see the sunlight again. Because the sun never disappears, it can just be hidden.
We may feel sad at a shop window, looking at something we wish to buy for our beloved ones, if the uncertainty of our job compels us to be frugal. Or when we realize that somebody won’t be sitting at our table this year.
It’s true, things may go better, but what we have is very precious, if we see well.
Honeysouckle is useful when we look back at our past with nostalgia. We are unable to enjoy the beautiful of the present moment, because our eyes are constantly looking backwards, at a (so we see it) happier period.
We may remember a nice Christmas spent with our friends at the mountains. While fancing our granny’s broth, we don’t see the yummy baked pasta in our plate.
Looking back doesn’t help, it’s more probable to fall!
Elm helps us find the strenght to face a situation, when it seems impossible to cope with all engagements taken.
Not all of us can enjoy a relaxing Christmas time at home. On the contrary, some of us are overworking these days.
We may have children at home, with whom we’d like to be. Besides, this year it’s our turn to host the family on Christmas day. There are the childrens’ school plays, the gym’s dinner, other presents to buy.
We may be overwhelmed with the amount of work to do!
Elm helps cope with a sense of impotence that may arise from excess of work. Sure it’s hard, but we can do it!
Rock Water is pure source water, the sole “non-flower” among the Bach flower remedies. It helps us forgive ourselves for our imperfections.
We must be present at the childrens’ school plays, we must iron the new shirt, we must prepare an excellent Christmas dinner. In a word, we want to be perfect in every way. This is humanly impossible!
If we ask ourselves that much, we’ll get as hard as rocks. Rock Water helps soften our stiffness.
“Perfect” is the fake Christmas tree that we get out of its box every year. We do not live in a box for 11 months a year! So let’s accept our imperfections, which make us so unique and inimitable!
Pine shakes off the sense of guilt that sometimes grips us, also at Christmas. For logistic reasons, it won’t be possible to share our time with all the ones we wish.
It’s not worth blaming ourselves for what we won’t manage to do, it makes much more sense to fully enjoy what we have.
Larch is useful to regain self-confidence. We may not be a superchef, but our Christmas dinner will however be good.
We worth more than we think. We don’t need to buy expensive presents. We matter as persons, our friends and family do not stand by our side for the presents they get from us, but for the gift of our presence in their lives!
Willow makes us less grumpy. “It’s not fair, he got a better prize than I did.” “It’s not fair that we always have to host the family, my brother has a bigger house!”
Focusing and underlining only what’s wrong takes energy and brings no good!
Agrimony helps drop the mask. In this period we decore our houses with sparkly lights, we wear the finest dresses, but we may hide a big torment inside.
It’s not compulsory to be happy, present at every event. Let’s start choosing what and who makes us feel good.
And let’s remember that it’s not wrong to ask for help when we need it. The biggest prove of esteem for a friend is to show him our weaknesses, not to buy him an expensive thing!